Ah yes, I've only seen The Time Warrior once, a while ago. See, the kinkmeme is also about lulz.;)

''Hello there! You know those times when you're in the middle of something fun and impediments show up and you have to get said impediments out of the way before the fun can continue?''

''Er...''

''This is one of those times!''

''Right. What can I do for you, sir?''

''I'll tell you what you can do for me! It's... well...it's...You know I don't usually need this''

*patient look from cashier*

''Weeeell... what I need is...is... *deep breath* co...lgate''

''There you are, sir''

''Excellent. And then there's the matter of *tugs at scarf* con...con...tact lenses''

''We don't sell those here, sir''

''No? What a shame. Er, then how about... coooo...la?''

''*sigh* Coke or Pepsi*''

*Romana pushes the Doctor aside*

''Three pacs of Durex, ribbed.''

After:

''Thank Rassilon you only ovulate every few decade''

''I was going to ask for Trojans but, you know, their barriers burst.''