And In Other News...

[jjpor]

I've heard of the Random Pairing Generator, the They Fight Crime generator, even the Random Thriller Title Generator, but...

nine.frenchboys.net/war.php

...the Random War Generator?!
 

Comments

[clocketpatch]

The War of Finnish Extermination

Vikings vs Daleks? I'd watch that.

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

What did Finland ever do to them?

(Okay, if it was the Daleks, they wouldn't really need a reason... ;D)

[sciathan-file.livejournal.com]

The War of Jane's Foot makes me imagine Godzilla!Jane Austen.

The horror.

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

XD - Jane Austen stamping on Regency London - what an image!

[evilawyer.livejournal.com]

I wonder if Terrence Dicks thought about something like this when he wrote The War Games.

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

I definitely think there was some sort of thought process like that - "wouldn't it be cool if X ended up fighting Y?". Yes... ;D

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

The First Belgian Civil War

...worryingly plausible as a RL event at the moment, considering the love lost between the Flemings and the Walloons...

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

Yes, a lot of them aren't even funny, more like "hmm, yeah, I could see that one..."

[ravenskyewalker.livejournal.com]

Oddly amused by such results as the Egyptian-Korean War of Subversion

Then there was The Thousand Years' Jihad vs The Twenty-Nine Years' Crusade.

The Canadian-Sudanese War of Decimation? *gulp*

Sorry to keep editing, but... The War of Augusta's Birdcage?! LOL, must stop now.

[thisbluespirit]

The Canadian-Sudanese War of Decimation? *gulp*

Yeah, you can see where that one might have geographical difficulties. As if Sudan hasn't had enough to deal with... The circumstances under which it might happen, though - my mind is totally boggling.

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

Sort of Evil!Canada deciding it has a real problem with the Sudanese people...? Yeah, some of these are more than a little disturbing, actually, when you think about them.

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

Augusta's Birdcage - got to be the name of a hill or a wood at Gettysburg or somewhere, surely? Those American Civil War battles always seemed to take place at picturesquely-named locations...

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

My mind, she is boggled:

War of Brunhilda's Nose

Seriously?!

[pedanther]

The foot-and-nose stuff is presumably inspired by the War of Jenkins' Ear (1739-1748).

[ETA: *cough* 1748. It didn't really last two hundred years.]

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

Well I figured out that much by myself - doesn't stop my mind being boggled though.

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

Hehe - nice typo! ;D

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

I suspect there must be some fairly involved story behind that one. One Viking chieftain making an unkind comment about another's missus, leading to strife. Probably. O.o

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

LOL Yes! Good call!

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

XD

[thisbluespirit]

!!???!!!

That's both very amusing and sort of disturbing. I got the Second Irish Jihad, which really... I don't know. I may see if I can get someone's foot or nose instead.

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

Yeah... As I say, some of these are a bit close to the bone, or otherwise you know, sound more tragic than funny. I mean, okay, it doesn't say anywhere in the rules that Random Generators have to be humorous, but... I dunno, I think I prefer the thriller titles one. ;D

[ravenskyewalker.livejournal.com]

Ah, but I like the Fourth Martian-Lunar Revolution. It made me snort, but I do have an odd sense of humor. ;-)

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

The fourth! Four attempts, or did the successful revolutionaries keep getting overthrown by the _next_ lot of would-be rulers? :D

[pedanther]

Makes me think of Gene Wolfe's "How I Lost the Second World War", which revolves around a boardgame simulating a world war, with the players rolling dice at the beginning to determine which countries are on which sides.

(The players in the story roll up a set of alliances that's coincidentally the same as the actual alliances of World War II, snark about how improbable some of them are, and then head off to look at an International Trade Fair where the latest model Volkswagen is being spruiked by some insignificant little Austrian chap with a funny moustache.)

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

Heh - that sounds like a good story :D

[thisbluespirit]

I just looked at the site you've linked to - and, you know what, it's Seventh Sanctum (the one that did the History Scrambler) in disguise. So I got here first. *plants flag* ;-D

Plus, The War of Nori's Wheatfield? This was definitely some very, very minor dark age skirmish, I feel...

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

;D Messing about on your patch!

Speaking of which... yes, Nori's Wheatfield sounds like it was fought by half a dozen blokes with axes on a rainy Wednesday afternoon in about the year 900. Nobody was harmed apart from an unlucky sheep who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[thisbluespirit]

The War of the Random Generator? It would probably be a sequel to The Avatar Deception.

Yes, exactly. I don't suppose it did the wheatfield much good, either. It was probably a fight that they later liked to claim was an actual battle, and used to go on about when they were old, or drunk, or both. :lol:

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

;D

Which is actually probably true in the case of some real life "battles" too...

[akashasheiress.livejournal.com]

The Pan-British Revolt. Wait, so England and Scotland will be revolting together? Maybe it's a workers' revolt!

[pedanther]

Or maybe it's Scotland and every other subordinate nation of the British Empire revolting against England simultaneously.

[thisbluespirit]

Pan-British makes it sounds as though there would be a Celtic uprising to finally do away with the Anglo-Saxons and the Normans. Therefore, it would be Wales, the South West (especially strong in Cornwall), Scotland, Isle of Man and Ireland. Possibly Brittany while they were at it. I'm from Somerset; I'll join in. ;-D

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

I'd suddenly rediscover my Irish heritage when the revolutionaries came marching into Liverpool, and claim I supported them all along. Maybe they'd make me mayor or something... Or most likely not. ;D

[thisbluespirit]

Well, they say most of us are still fundamentally Celt, and, Liverpool even more so! :-)

It would be ill-fated, but so Celtic things must be, and then the bards would sing of us.

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

Yes, a noble failure is usually better for that sort of thing than a win. We'd be folk heroes, at the very least. ;D

[akashasheiress.livejournal.com]

That would be cool. I'll join, too, seeing as the Faroes are sort of celtic as well.;)

[thisbluespirit]

Absolutely! The Celts are everywhere! ;-)

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

Power to the People! As lost_spook suggests, though, Pan-British suggests some weird brand of eccentric Celtic nationalism, with the Cornish and Bretons joining forces to...I don't know...lose badly to the combined armies of both the UK and France? That seems like the most likely outcome, really. But at least they'd go down fighting for their cause!

[akashasheiress.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm all for it.:D

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

Yes, who wants to win when you can be a famous martyr for future generations? ;D

[akashasheiress.livejournal.com]

I have years of training!

[jjpor.livejournal.com]

XD

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[lofomar.livejournal.com]

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